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UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson — Main Card Results & Commentary

(Yeesh. That thing never gets easier to look at, does it. / Image via MMAJunkie)

Also known as the TUF: The Smashes Finale, tonight’s UFC card is coming to you live from the Gold Coast, and will feature the season’s lightweight and welterweight finals. (Remember, these are the Brits and Aussies. The “Let Me Bang, Bro” cast gets its big send-off tomorrow in Vegas.)

If you happened to read our brutally honest breakdown of the fights, you know that there’s not much on the line this evening outside of those lovely glass trophies. But at the very least, the lead-off fight between Hector Lombard and Rousimar Palhares should be memorable. Unless it isn’t, which is also possible.

Our own Matt Kaplan will be throwin’ down round-by-round results from the FX main card, beginning at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and if you’re watching along with us, please throw your own bullshit into the comments section.

(Yeesh. That thing never gets easier to look at, does it. / Image via MMAJunkie)

Please stand by…

Hey now. Mk here. Before we get to the liveblog, I just want to say how glad I am that these fights are on tonight. I have two little kids, so the more I hear/see/learn about the school shooting in Connecticut, the more furious/helpless/nervous I become. Once again, MMA is a welcomed respite – for a few hours, at least – and I’m sure I’m not the only one here at CP whose thoughts and prayers are with the families whose lives were forever changed today.

Now let’s get ready to watch some guys fight. Who ya got?

And the fighting robots can only mean one thing: “It’s time!” So cheezy.

Anik and Florian are once again behind the mic, kinda dressed alike too.

Hector Lombard vs. Rousimar Palhares

Rd. 1) We’ve got two short, stumpy thumpers going right here. I’m excited for this one. Lombard takes the center of the cage and opens with some kicks and punches, and Palhares accepts the invitation. Lombard misses a wild, leaping hook. Palhares is kicking low…and again…and is dropped by a Lombard right. Palhares circles away to his right and is being stalked by Lombard, who’s looking for a big left.Lombard connects with a big left and Palhares is down. Lombard is in his guard. Lombard is up and lets Palhares up. Lombard is peppering Palhares with big punches against the fence. Palhares is down again. More monster shots. He’s out. Lombard wins it with strikes (Rd. 1. 3:38). Damn, that was a nasty left from Lombard when Palhares was against the fence.

Lombard calls out Bisping in the post-fight interview. I’m down for that.

(That Southern Comfort commercial with the fat dude in the speedo is unreal.)

Colin Fletcher vs. Norman Parke

Rd 1) Joe Martinez is silky on the mic, as usual, and we’re off. Parke wades in with an overhand left and clinches Fletch before pressing him against the cage. He takes down Fletcher, who gets right back up and stuffs another takedown attempt. Woops, Parke trips him down again and is in Fletcher’s half guard, up against the cage. Fletcher is working for a kimura but Parke defends it without issue. Parke is still in half guard and can’t seem to pass. Big elbow from Parke to Fletcher’s face. Parke is in north-south position but passes to half. Fletcher spins out for a second – a scramble – and now it’s Fletcher with side control. He drops a few punches before the horn.

Rd 2) Both men land some early low kicks. Again Parke throws the overhand left, clinches, and moves Fletcher to the fence. And there’s the takedown. Is Fletcher going for a heel hook? Nope. Parke is in side control again. Park is going for a one-armed guillotine, but Fletcher escapes. Parke now has Fletcher mounted, takes his back, but Fletcher escapes and is up on his feet. Parke lands a big left to the side of the head of Fletcher. Knee from Fletcher. Fletcher is throwing plenty of low kicks, but Parke lands some heavy punch combinations. Parke seems to be throwing with much more conviction – and power. Parke gets a takedown just before the round ends.

Rd 3) Kicks to the legs from Fletcher, punches to the head from Parke. Fletcher is swinging upstairs, but no luck. Parke ducks and counters. Solid left from Parke; Fletcher counters with a kick. Fletcher’s left eye is bleeding. Fletcher lands two punches on the jaw, but Parke counters with a left hook. Fletcher lands a left hook to the body. And a knee to the body. Parke has slowed a bit, it seems, and Fletcher is fighting as he should with a minute left. Parke hits two quick takedowns and has Fletcher’s back. Fletcher is up, and the fight ends with Parke pressing Fletcher against the cage. Norman Parke takes the unanimous decision and is the Smashes lightweight winner. Mazel tov on the new contract, Stormin.

The FX show The Americans looks like it could be pretty cool, no?

Robert Whittaker vs. Bradley Scott

Rd 1) Jeers for Scott. Cheers for Whittaker. Both men sample some kicks and punch combinations before Scott presses Whittaker against the fence. Whittaker knees as Scott presses. The crowd is anxious. Whittaker spins away and throws a big, glancing left hook. And another that lands clean on the nose of Scott. Nice right from Whittaker. Scott fires a right down the middle. Whittaker kicks hard at the lead leg and just misses with the right. Whittaker charges in with punches, drops Scott, but Scott is up, and both men are toe to toe. Scott presses forward against the cage. Whittaker is off the cage and counters a Scott right with three hard shots. Knee to the body from Scott, and a big Whittaker left hook lands at the horn.

Rd 2) Both men are firing punches early, and Scott again wants to press against the fence. Whittaker ain’t having it, though. A lead left uppercut and a follow-up right land for Whittaker. Whittaker kicks Scott in the junk, so we’re taking a breather. And we’re back. Scott lands a kick to the body. Some good dirty boxing from both men. Scott trips Whittaker and has the Aussie’s back. Scott is landing some short punches and knees. Scott has two hooks in and is dropping punches. Whittaker nearly sneaks out the back door. Yup, he’s out. Scott is pressing and Whittaker is bloodied. Whittaker lands a good left hook; Scott moves Whittaker against the cage once more. The round ends with Scott and Whittaker trading heavy leather.

Rd 3) Big left hook just misses for Whittaker. Whittaker is looking to turn the lights out with these punches. Scott moves in with punches, but Whittaker counters with hard combos. Whittaker is turning it up with nasty elbows. Scott lands a counter hook. Nasty elbow from Whittaker, followed by a 2 and a 3. Whittaker is getting the better of these exchanges. Scott jabs, Whittaker pounds. Whittaker attacks with a left uppercut that snaps back the head of Scott. Here’s a barrage of punches from Whittaker, and the crowd loves it. Hooks from Scott, elbows and straight punches from Whittaker. Great fight. Close, too. The judges award the unanimous decision victory to local boy Robert Whittaker, your new Smashes welterweight winner.

George Sotiropoulos vs. Ross Pearson

Rd 1) There will be no touching of the gloves in this one. Pearson fires some lead left hooks; Sotiropoulos slips and misses with he counter right. Pearson hits the kick to the inside of the lead leg. Big right form Pearson. Sotiropoulos is wobbly. Damn. Sotiropoulos pushes Pearson against the fence and is looking for a takedown. Knee from Sotiropoulos. both men trade rights. Pearson is landing hard punches and Sotiropoulos backs him off for a second with a close-range knee. A Pearson leg kick puts down Sotiropoulos, who gets right back up. Pearson might be smelling the big KO. Sotiropoulos is keeping his hands up as Pearson fires away. Sotiropoulos grabs a double, drags down Pearson, but Pearson gets back up. Uh oh. Sotiropoulos has Pearson’s back as Pearson is standing beside the fence. Pearson bucks Sotiropoulos off, but Sotiropoulos regains bach control as the round ends.

Rd 2) Sotiropoulos seems to have recovered. Pearson kicks low; Sotiropoulos counters with a straight right. High kick from Sotiropoulos. Body shot from Pearson. Pearson is winding up for the big one, it seems. Both men trade jabs. Sotiropoulos is finding his distance with the left jab. Another high kick from Sotiropoulos. Pearson lands a hard body shot with the right hand. Sotiropoulos counters, but a Pearson left hook drops Sotiropoulos. Sotiropoulos is wobbled again. Pearson’s left hook is getting through. Pearson slips after a left kick, but regains his footing. Another big Pearson left hits before the round ends.

Rd 3) A left hook from Pearson drops Sotiropoulos right away. Sotiropoulos gets up, but Pearson is hammering away. A straight left and a clobbering right hands drops Sotiropoulos, and the ref calls it off after Pearson lands one more right hand to a downed Sotiropoulos. Wow. Big power from Ross the boss. Ross Pearson wins via TKO at 41 seconds into the third.

Not a bad night of fights, CP. See you next time. Mk.

UFC on FOX: Henderson vs. Diaz — Main Card Results & Commentary

(Sometimes I look at Nate Diaz and think, “y’know, there’s a guy who probably hasn’t heard the Good News about Jesus Christ.” / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

Old legends and young lions. Guys with angel wings on their backs and guys with middle fingers in your face. Hot-headed blood lickers, and reasonable folks who understand the health risks of such behavior. It’s UFC on FOX 5 — a card so good that you don’t even need lazy storylines to sell it.

On the menu tonight: Benson Henderson looks for his second lightweight title defense against Nate Diaz, Alexander Gustafsson makes his case for #1 light-heavyweigght contendership against Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, and BJ Penn will go to the death — or pretty damn close — against Rory MacDonald. Plus, a MySpace grudge-match nearly eight years in the making!

Running our “Henderson vs. Diaz” liveblog is New Jersey Martial Arts Hall of Fame inductee Jim Genia (congrats Jim!), who will be throwin’ down live results from the FOX main card after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss your own thoughts and observations in the comments section.

What up, spuds. ‘Tis I, Jim Genia. Here are the results from the undercard:

-Yves Edwards def. Jeremy Stephens via KO (Punches) at 1:55, Round 1

-Raphael Assuncao def. Mike Easton via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)

-Ramsey Nijem def. Joe Proctor via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

-Daron Cruickshank def. Henry Martinez via KO (Kick) at 2:57, Round 2

-Abel Trujillo def. Marcus LeVesseur via TKO (Knees) at 3:56, Round 2

-Dennis Siver def. Nam Phan via Unanimous Decision (30-26, 30-25, 30-24)

-Scott Jorgensen def. John Albert via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) at 4:59, Round 1

And now, the main card, which is probably the best selection of fights Zuffa has ever given to FOX for airing for free.

First up, Matt Brown vs. Mike Swick:

You know and love Swick from his time on the seminal TUF season and the years of beatings both given and received in the Octagon. You know Brown for pretty much the same thing, although his coming out party was at TUF 7. We’ve seen them bang in impressive fashion, but Father Time has got to be taking his toll these grizzled dudes, so the question is: who’s still got enough grit left to pull out the win?

Round 1: After about 30 seconds of feeling each other out, Swick and Brown begin taking turns lunging in and winging punches. Neither really connects though, so Brown grabs one of his opponent’s legs and dumps him on the canvas, and works into side-control. From there Brown slips on a tight-as-hell D’Arce choke. Swick is stuck defending the technique while in Brown’s guard. He guts his way out of it, but not long after Brown has him in an even tighter triangle choke. Somehow, some way, Swick survives, and with 3o seconds left they get back to their feet and pepper each other with short punches and knees from the clinch. Ding, end of round.

Round 2: Brown comes out and starts Muay Thai-ing the crap out of Swick, which is weird because doesn’t Swick live in Thailand or something? Anyway, what can Brown do for you? I dunno, but for Swick it’s elbows and knees and some smothering clinch-work. Swick seems to fade fast, and while he’s walking backwards, Brown tags him with a left hook on the chin and a right hand in the grill, and Swick is out and probably dreaming of a better Pad Thai than you and I will ever know.

Matt Brown def. Mike Swick via KO (Punches) at 2:31, Round 2

Next, BJ Penn vs. Rory MacDonald:

What more can I say about Penn that hasn’t been said? The man’s a legend, he’s accomplished more in the sport than most can ever dream of, and when he bleeds, he bleeds grape-flavored Hawaiian Punch. MacDonald is supposedly one of the next big things, but screw that. BJ, dispatch this clown.

Round 1: Penn comes straight across the cage and goes for a takedown. MacDonald shrugs it off, and from his upper-body control, it becomes apparent that his size and height advantage is going to make it hard for Penn to move him around. They two create some space, and for the next two minutes MacDonald uses his reach to land some low kicks, a high-kick to the head that the former lightweight- and welterweight champ shrugs off, some jabs and elbows. Penn gets some good licks in, but it’s almost all MacDonald, and the young upstart wobbles the Hawaiian with an elbow with about 45 seconds left in the round. They make it to the bell, but yeesh, Penn is getting hurt.

Round 2: MacDonald stalks Penn into the cage, and with jabs and kicks, begins to have his way with him. Penn doesn’t circle, doesn’t really move his head, and aside from a right hand here and there, he’s a sitting duck. MacDonald cracks him to the body with a kick at the midway mark of the round, and Penn nearly crumbles, staying upright only to eat more painful body blows. With 38 seconds in the frame MacDonald grabs Penn and dumps him onto the canvas, and he feeds him short punches until the bell.

Round 3: Penn comes close with a single-leg takedown right out of the gate, but MacDonald gets out of it and tries to hug him to death against the cage. Referee Herb Dean seperates them, and MacDonald resumes hurting Penn with strikes from the outside. With all the confidence in the world, MacDonald shuffles his feet and throws question-mark kicks, Superman punches and just about anything else he wants, and all Penn can do is walk around and take it. And then the bell sounds and it’s all over, and I go to my room and cry.

Rory MacDonald def. BJ Penn via Unanimous Decision (30-26, 30-26, 30-27)

Next, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and Alexander Gustafsson:

Shogun was, at one time, one of the best in the world. Now he’s a walking pile of barely connected bones, ligaments and aged muscles. Will the big Swede striker be the one to finally make the Brazilian collapse into a heaps of twisted flesh in the cage?

Round 1: Apparently Shogun watched Penn’s fight on the monitor backstage and said “I ain’t going out like that.” Within the first 30 seconds of the bout Gustafsson sends him to the canvas on his butt, but Shogun swivels into a heelhook attempt that the Swede has to seriously work to get out of – and when he does, the former PRIDE and UFC champ almost takes his back and manages to land a sweet knee to the chops when they’re against the fence. They make some space and throw strikes, with Shogun opting to cover up, eat whatever his opponent throws so he can wade in and land something himself. It’s a dangerous ploy, and he winds up bleeding from his nose – but still very much in the game – by the time the round ends.

Round 2: Winging overhand rights and lefts, Shogun re-establishes himself as a threat to the taller fighter. Gustafsson almost hip tosses him two minutes in, but a flubbed takedown attempt soon after has Shogun on his back regardless. They work back to their feet and Gustafsson nails two takedowns and bangs his foe up with some ground and pound, and when Shogun stands the taller fighter just blasts him, wobbling him with knees and punches. The bell sounds with Shogun that much worse for wear.

Round 3: Gustafsson resumes dinging Shogun up, and when Shogun fights back with more overhand rights, the Swede takes him down and tries to work him over there. They get back to their feet and the dance continues, with Shogun trying to land that big money shot and Gustafsson alternating between strikes from outside and successful takedowns. About midway through the round Gustafsson lands a shot to Shogun’s liver, which turns the Brazilian into the Walking Dead while Gustafsson lands whatever he wants. A front kick to the face, jabs, and takedowns – Gustafsson does it all, and time expires with Shogun on the bottom and fighting like maybe he should have retired a year and a half ago.

Alexander Gustafsson def. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-26)

Next, Benson Henderson vs. Nate Diaz:

Henderson won the UFC lightweight title by narrowly defeating Frankie Edgar, and reiterated his claim to the belt by defeating Edgar in another close fight and razor-thin decision. Diaz ain’t about that life, though. Diaz will beat you up in the parking lot, kiss your girl and smoke your pot, and there’s nothing you can do about it so you might as well start packing your bong now, son. Ahem.

Round 1: Henderson wastes no time throwing kicks to Diaz’s legs, and Diaz wastes no time taunting him and tying him up against the cage. They trade knees while jockeying for advantage, and this goes on for about two minutes. Diaz makes some distance and lands an elbow, and Henderson manages two takedowns and some hard ground and pound. The fine upstanding citizen from Stockton gets back to his feet, but he remains open to leg-kicks, and Bendo drops him with one. Diaz is up again, and the round expires with the two pressed up against the cage.

Round 2: The champ muscles the challenger to the mat about 30 seconds into the round, and when Diaz rises, he throws a kick to the head that Diaz barely blocks. They wrestle a bit on the feet, and when they seperate the two trade some strikes and it almost seems like the TUF winner is starting to find his boxing groove. But no, Henderson resumes kicking the crap out of his leg, than drops him with a knuckle sandwich and pounds on him. Diaz survives, gets vertical and scores with a sweet judo throw, but Henderson scrambles back up and continues his dominance.

Round 3: Henderson opens up with another leg-kick, Diaz answers back with some of his bread and butter punches, and at a minute in the champ hits a takedown and drops bombs. Back on their feet and then another takedown, and it’s clear Diaz’s guard is ill-equipped to deal with the heat Henderson brings from above. Diaz rolls and works into a leglock attempt that morphs into a toehold. Henderson expertly escapes, fends off another heelhook attempt, and when they stand once more Bendo drops Diaz with a right hand. With time running out, Henderson lands an axe-kick to Diaz’s body, and then the bell sounds.

Round 4: Henderson gets a takedown against the fence about 35 seconds into the round, batters Diaz whenever Diaz turtles, and repeats the whole process when they get back up. The Cesar Gracie black belt has maybe one half-ass kimura attempt and heelhook attempt, but that’s it, and you have to wonder if Diaz should maybe consider moving down to 145 pounds.

Round 5: They’re up against the cage early, and with 3:30 left on the clock Henderson hoists Diaz up and slams him like a pimp shaking down one of his hookers. Diaz scores with one hip throw, but the champ scrambles to safety, and other than that one brief moment of brilliance, the challenger is nothing more than a grappling dummy that curses a lot. And then time runs out and it’s all over.

Benson Henderson def. Nick Diaz via Unanimous Decision (50-43, 50-45, 50-45)

That’s all she wrote, folks. Peace out.

UFC 154: St. Pierre vs. Condit — Main Card Results & Commentary

(Anderson Silva will be watching this one with great interest. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Georges St. Pierre‘s 19-month hiatus from the Octagon is one of the reasons why MMA kind of sucked this year. But the UFC welterweight champion is back in the saddle tonight in Montreal against interim champ Carlos Condit, so come a little bit closer baby, get it on, get on, ’cause tonight is the night when two belts become one.

In the co-main event, Martin Kampmann battles Johny Hendricks for a potential title shot against the winner of St. Pierre vs. Condit. Plus: This clown, ~~that weirdo~~, and Mark Hominick‘s must-win featherweight scrap against Pablo Garza. [Note: Nick Ring was supposed to fight Constantinos Philippou on the main card, but fell ill today and wasn’t cleared to compete. Mark Bocek vs. Rafael Dos Anjos was promoted to the main card from the prelims.]

Guiding us through the proceedings is ~~liveblogger-supreme Aaron Mandel~~ Ben Goldstein!, who will be throwin’ down round-by-round results from the UFC 154 pay-per-view main card beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let your voices be heard loudly and proudly in the comments section.

(Anderson Silva will be watching this one with great interest. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Yeah, Aaron pulled out due to some last-minute technical difficulties, so you’re stuck with Old Mom. And here I was, enjoying a pleasant Saturday evening of drinking local craft beer and putting together IKEA furniture. This better be good, guys.

Mark Hominick vs. Pablo Garza
Garza comes out to “Lights” by Ellie Goulding. Hominick comes out to “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue. The dichotomy is both hilarious and awesome. Bruce Buffer greets the crowd with a friendly “Bone Swa, Mon’Reahhhh…”

Round 1: Hominick stalks forward and Garza tries to push him back with leg kicks and a knee. Hominick steps in and throws heavy. Garza trying to keep him at distance with his long scarecrow limbs, but Hommy lands anyway. You can tell that Hominick wants to make an example of this guy. But now Garza dashes in with a great knee to the body and follows it with a good leg kick. Garza throws the head kick. Hominick backs up with punches. Another nice leg kick from Garza. Garza goes low/high with the kicks. He changes levels with punches too, but Hominick counters him hard, backing Garza to the fence. They tie up and Hominick slams him to the mat. Garza goes for the armbar. He nearly sinks it but Hominick pulls out and starts slugging down from inside Garza’s guard. Garza gets up and flings a long knee into Hominick’s body. Garza throws a punch to the ribs. But Hominick lands a devastating punch to Garza’s body and he crumbles. Hominick tries to finish but Garza gets up and lands an uppercut that opens Hominick up. Garza pushes Hominick to the fence and unloads. Hominick escapes at the bell. Awesome round…I have to give it to Garza 10-9 for landing more and drawing blood.

Round 2: Hominick’s face is already puffed up. Garza throws a wild-ass jumping kick to start the round. He grabs Hominick around the waist and drags him down, rolling into Hominick’s guard. Garza working some GnP and lands a couple good shots to Hominick’s mug. Now some elbows. This isn’t going well for the Canadian. He gets some distance and fires down some longer punches now. Hominick trying to tie up an arm then a leg, looking for any kind of submission, but it’s not happening. Hominick looks be bleesing near both eyes now, as Garza continues the assault of punches and elbows from the top. And that’s the bell. 10-9, bordering on 10-8 for Garza.

Round 3: Garza opens with a high kick, then goes to the inside leg. Hominick comes out like he did in the first frame, stalking and throwing hard. Garza grabs Hominick again, but gets shucked off. Garza tries a takedown again and gets it. Garza slashes with elbows. Hominick tosses the legs up looking for an omoplata, but can’t get it. More elbows from Garza. Hominick thinks about going for the leg, then resumes his roadkill-impression. Hominick slaps Garza in the side of the head a few times, doing jack-shit. Garza slugs him hard in the face. Double-hand slaps from the bottom from Hominick? Ugh, dude. Hominick kicks Garza off, Garza knees him in the ribs when he gets up and takes Hominick right back down. Garza in Hominick’s half-guard, and tosses down some hammer-fists. Hominick with a hail-mary triangle-armbar, but Garza pulls out and the fight ends. The crowd boos Garza for beating the dog doo-doo out of their homeboy. This is going to be Garza’s win, and the fourth straight loss for Hominick.

Pablo Garza def. Mark Hominick via unanimous decision (29-27, 30-26, 29-28).

Mark Bocek vs. Rafael Dos Anjos

Round 1: Bocek takes the center of the cage. Bocek ties Dos Anjos up and pushes him against the cage; Dos Anjos escapes. Leg kick Dos Anjos. Bocek shoots again, and they’re back to tangling on the fence. Bocek knees Dos Anjos in the thighs from the clinch. Dos Anjos returns a knee to the chest and pushes off. Dos Anjos with a superman punch that misses and an uppercut that lands hard. Bocek lands a head kick but slips to the mat. He pops up, tries for a thai clinch then drops low. Dos Anjos just refuses to be taken down tonight. He’s out, and they trade low kicks. Dos Anjos sticks the uppercut. Leg kick Dos Anjos. Bocek shoots in, puts Dos Anjos against the fence, drops to finish it, can’t. Dos Anjos rolls out and kicks Bocek in the leg. That’s the round. I hope Bocek goes to Plan B, because he’s not landing the takedowns and I don’t particularly want to watch two more rounds of this.

Round 2: After a brief punching exchange, Bocek low-kicks Rafael straight in the Dos Anjos, if you catch my drift. Yowzer. Anyway, Dos Anjos is back in with the quickness. Bocek shoots again and Dos Anjos reverses him. Dos Anjos on top, struggling for control. Bocek powers to his feet but Dos Anjos puts him back down. Bocek looks for an arm, and Dos Anjos straight up sits on the dude’s head in north-south position. (aka, The Arabian Goggles Position.) Bocek thankfully escapes, and eventually gets to his feet. Dos Anjos smells blood, and shoots hard for a takedown, nailing it. He goes to Bocek’s back and slugs down at Bocek’s temple. Bocek covers up. He grabs onto Dos Anjos’s leg and works his way upright. Dos Anjos lifts Bocek straight up and deposits him on the mat. Bocek stands up and gets punched in the face for his troubles. Bocek’s face is a bloody mess. Time for Plan C?

Round 3: Dos Anjos with the superman punch, still looking energetic. Bocek goes back to grabbing Dos Anjos against the fence and dropping for a takedown, but it’s still not working. Dos Anjos with a body slam to get the fight back to the mat. Bocek gets up and goes for a standing kimura, but Dos Anjos escapes. Straight right from Bocek. Jumping knee to the body from Dos Anjos. Bocek attacks with punches. They tie up against the fence. Dos Anjos with a knee to the ribs. Dos Anjos with a crane kick attempt, then a hard uppercut. Dos Anjos slips, gets up and stumbles around a bit, then they trade punches in a firefight to the bell. This is going to be another loss for Team Canada.

Rafael Dos Anjos def. Mark Bocek via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)

Francis Carmont vs. Tom Lawlor
Lawlor and his crew come out as…nerds, I guess? Not his best work.

Round 1: Lawlor the aggressor, coming forward and darting inside. They clinch on the fence. Carmont returns a knee. There’s another one. Dirty boxing from Filthy Tom. The ref breaks ‘em up when it becomes clear that they’ll spend all night on that fence. Carmont tries to set up a kimura when Lawlor shoots on him again. No dice. It’s back to the fence. They separate. Carmont uses his reach advantage, sticking his hand on Lawlor’s forehead to keep him at bay. Lawlor grabs a guillotine and jumps to the mat with it. Looks tight. Blood starts leaking out of somewhere on Carmont’s head, but he finally pulls out and postures up for some ground-and-pound payback. The bell saves Lawlor from getting punished.

Round 2: Carmont with some 52 Blocks-type hand-gesturing. Lawlor glides in with a straight left. Inside leg kick from Lawlor, then the outside. Carmont responds with a solid knee to the body. Lawlor pushes Carmont back against the fence. Lawlor lands the straight. Lawlor pushes him against the fence again. Carmont with a punch inside, and Lawlor drops for a takedown. He sticks it after some effort. Carmont gets up but eats a knee. Lawlor drags him down again. Carmont looks for the triangle but Lawlor escapes and scrambles for a guillotine attempt. Carmont escapes but the bell sounds before he can retaliate.

Round 3: They’re boxing. Carmont with a kick to the body. Carmont jumps forward with a knee, Lawlor grabs him and puts him against the fence. The crowd boos them, the ref breaks them. High kick from Carmont lands. Inside leg kick from Carmont. Lawlor pushing forward with punches. Carmont lands a right. He throws another high kick. Lawlor lands a counter-left. Kicks from Carmont to the leg and body. Left hook Lawlor, body kick Carmont. Foot stomps from Lawlor against the cage. They’re up after a brief moment on the mat, and that’s the fight. Not exactly a crowd-pleaser. The scores will be close.

Francis Carmont def. Tom Lawlor via split-decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29). The Montreal crowd actually boos the decision, even though the Canadian dude won it. Maybe they just hated the fight.

If you’re wondering where Nick Ring is tonight, read the update at the top of this post.

Johny Hendricks vs. Martin Kampmann

Round 1: Kampmann throws a high kick to open. He tries it again. Hendricks bolts in with his nasty left hand. A lightning fast left/right combo from Hendricks puts Kampmann into falling tree mode, and Hendricks only has time to punch Kampmann’s comatose head once before Big Dan pulls him off. My goodness that was nasty. Ladies and gentlemen, Johny Hendricks is the next in line at 170 pounds.

Johny Hendricks def. Martin Kampmann via KO 0:46 of round 1.

Georges St. Pierre vs. Carlos Condit
Alright, main event time. Who’s ready for five rounds of positional domination? The champ enters the cage and does cartwheels in both directions. SCARED YET, CARLOS?

Round 1: GSP jabs. Carlos with a leg kick. GSP is moving forward, punching, making Condit circle along the outside of the cage. Carlos throws a 1-2, fires a high teep that misses. Leg kick Georges, and a sharp jab. St. Pierre shoots for a leg and twists Condit to the mat. GSP softens him up with punches, carefully avoiding attacks from Condit’s guard. St. Pierre pulls Condit’s neck up to break his position. Condit tries to kick off but St. Pierre is glued on top of him, doing what he does best. Condit looking for an arm, can’t find it. More punches from the top from GSP. St. Pierre with shots to the ribs. Condit escapes to his feet. He’s cut, badly. The bell sounds and jets of blood pulse out of Condit’s forehead. The replay shows that St. Pierre did it with an elbow from the top. Easy 10-9 for the champ.

Round 2: Nice straight/uppercut/kick combo from Condit. They both whiff high kicks. St. Pierre leans in with a straight that connects. Carlos lands a left. Condit lands a 1-2 on GSP, then a hook after a knee attempt. St. Pierre answers with a right. Condit throws a knee kick. Condit goes body/head. St. Pierre shoots for a double leg and nails it. Big shot from the top. Condit’s face is gory. He slugs at GSP off his back, in vain. St. Pierre lands much more effective punches from the top. Condit dashes to his feet. As bloody as he is, he’s still game, getting in GSP’s range and firing punches. GSP punches back. Neither of these guys are playing it cautiously. Another round for the champ.

Round 3: Condit tags St. Pierre with a head kick and floors him! Condit desperately tries to finish, jackhammering punches and elbows down. GSP has quite the goose-egg on the right side of his head. GSP somehow gets to his feet. He’s unsteady, but goes back to attacking Condit, and slams him to the mat. That right there is a champion, folks. Hard elbows from St. Pierre. Condit stands up, grabs a kimura, but loses it as they tumble back to the mat. GSP settles into half-guard as Condit tries to find a way off his back. Nothing doing. St. Pierre stays on top until the bell.

Round 4: Condit goes low/high with kicks. Condit tries the head kick again but gets counter-punched directly after. St. Pierre dives for the takedown and gets it. We’re back in the champ’s world. Condit trying to snake his way out, and stays active punching GSP off his back. St. Pierre with punches whenever he can find an opening. Condit looking for a kneebar, can’t get it, and misses a follow-up triangle attempt. Carlos goes back to slugging GSP in the face from below. Condit tries to get up, GSP drags him down, Condit briefly reverses the position, GSP reverses the reversal. He takes Condit’s back as the fourth round ends.

Round 5: GSP with a brilliant superman jab/leg kick combo. Carlos is swinging at air. Then he lands a spinning back kick. St. Pierre nails another takedown, but Condit is quickly back on his feet. St. Pierre lands a right. Condit charges in and lands a right, then a left. Condit with a hook, then a knee kick. St. Pierre with a pair of jabs, a right hand, and finishes with a takedown. Two minutes left. St. Pierre is doing his best to hold the challenger in place. Condit rolls, St. Pierre takes his back, Condit defends and establishes guard again. St. Pierre gets a little more active in the last 40 seconds, firing down punches. Condit looks for a desperation armlock, switches to elbowing St. Pierre in the head when that doesn’t work. The fight ends, and they both look like they’ve been in a car wreck. It wasn’t always pretty, but Georges St. Pierre just answered all the doubters. The only things left are the scores, and one more obligatory cut to Anderson Silva.

Georges St. Pierre def. Carlos Condit via unanimous decision (49-46, 50-45 x 2).

GSP says his knee didn’t bother him at all, and he wouldn’t have fought if it did. Joe Rogan asks him the million dollar question about a potential Anderson Silva fight, and the crowd boos. St. Pierre says he was only thinking about Condit; now, he’s going to take a vacation, think it over, and make the right decision for his career. Come on Andy, rush the cage and call him a punk or something! Ah well…the event ends without an awkward post-fight confrontation, but it’s great to see the greatest welterweight in MMA history working again.

That’s a wrap for tonight. Thanks, as always, for hanging out with us.

‘UFC on FUEL 6: Franklin vs. Le’ — Live Results & Commentary

(Unfortunately, Bruce Lee’s ghost suffered a knee injury in training and will be unable to float above the fighters tonight. Hey, that’s why they say “card subject to change.” / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It’s Saturday night in Macau, the special administrative region that never sleeps. While us North Americans are pouring cereal and rubbing crust out of our eyes, the UFC’s first-ever show in China is already in full swing at the CotaiArena. In the main event, a couple of middleweight battle-axes named Rich Franklin and Cung Le will be slugging it out, refusing to go gently into middle age. Supporting them on the main card is an array of international matchups, including Thiago Silva vs. Stanislav Nedkov, Dong Hyun Kim vs. Paulo Thiago, and Takanori Gomi vs. Mac Danzig.

Handling liveblog duties for us this morning is Jim Genia, who will be stacking round-by-round results from the UFC on FUEL 6 main card broadcast after the jump, beginning at 9 a.m. ET / 6 a.m. PT. Refresh the page for all the latest, and let your voice be heard in the comments section. Thanks for being here, guys. We can all take naps later.

It’s Saturday night in Macau, the special administrative region that never sleeps. While us drowsy North Americans are pouring cereal and rubbing crust out of our eyes, the UFC’s first-ever show in China is already in full swing at the CotaiArena. In the main event, a couple of middleweight battle-axes named Rich Franklin and Cung Le will be slugging it out, refusing to go gently into middle age. Supporting them on the main card is an array of international matchups, including Thiago Silva vs. Stanislav Nedkov, Dong Hyun Kim vs. Paulo Thiago, and Takanori Gomi vs. Mac Danzig.

UFC on Fuel 6 Preliminary Results:

-Riki Fukuda def. Tom DeBlass via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

-John Lineker def. Yasuhiro Urushitani via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28)

-Alex Caceres def. Motonobu Tezuka via Split Decision (28-29, 30-27, 30-27)

Good morning! Are you ready for some UFC action at a time of the day when you’d normally be watching cartoons and drinking either a cup of coffee or a Redbull or both? I know am!

First up: Takeya Mizugaki vs. Jeff Hougland

Back in the day when the WEC was a real thing and we all watched it, Mizugaki was the man – or at least one of them. He’s had a rough time of it since, but his opponent today is regional-level dude Hougland, so we’ll see how it goes.

Round 1: They waste no time mixing it up on the feet, trading strikes early and often – Miz with his strong kicks and Hougland with his fists. The American shoots for a takedown about a minute in, gets stuffed and put on his back, and tries to swing into a armbar from the bottom that bears no fruit. I don’t know how to say “Been there, done that” in Japanese, but that’s what is probably running through Mizugaki’s head. For the next couple minutes Miz is beating on Hougland’s face like it offends him, while Hougland tries for triangles and a head-arm choke. The horn sounds and Hougland is no prettier.

Round 2: Miz continues banging his opponent up on the feet, so Hougland lumbers into a clinch and again gets taken down. Just like in the first, the Japanese veteran is dropping bombs from within the American’s guard as Hougland keeps going for armbars and triangles that seem straight off a Gracie instructional DVD. Referee Steve Perceval stands them up, which gives Miz the chance to blast Hougland in the grill, and again they’re back on the ground in their usual position.

Round 3: The third round begins and Hougland looks like he’s just run a marathon. Miz tags him with a hook that sends him face-first to the canvas, but when Mizugaki goes in for the kill Hougland scoops him up and slams him. The WEC vet scrambles on top, they get back to their feet, and Mizugaki easily hugs Hougland to the canvas to regain top position. Some inactivity sees the ref stand them up, but Hougland’s got nothing left in the tank and can’t stop Miz from putting him on his back and mushing him. The ground and pound onslaught opens up a cut on the American’s face, turning the waning seconds of the bout into a horror show, and when time runs out there’s no mystery as to who deserves the decision. When it comes to scrubs, nobody beats the Miz.

Takeya Mizugaki def. Jeff Hougland via Unanimous Decision (30-25, 30-27, 30-27)

Next: Tiequan Zhang vs. John Tuck

When last we saw Tuck, the Guam native was trying to fight his way into the TUF House against Al Iaquinta and his toe damn near fell off. Zhang is a mid-grade UFC vet who’s still trying to break out of the shadow of his reggae star brother, Zunga Zhang.

Round 1: Forty-five seconds of circling turns into Zhang nailing an explosive takedown, but the tide turns instantly when Tuck swing for an insanely tight armbar attempt. Zhang rolls and rolls like his life depends on it, escapes and finds himself in an inverted triangle (which only works in Bellator), and escapes that to end up on Tuck’s back. The Chinese fighter gets outmanuevered and suddenly Tuck is in mount, then affixed to his back, hunting for a choke. Zhang survives and makes it back to the feet, and the bell rings.

Round 2: The round begins and the two men play Rock ‘Em-Sock ‘Em Robots until Zhang gets the takedown forty-five seconds in. Tuck counters with another armbar attempt, and when Zhang dodges it, the Guam native reverses and gets on top. Tuck turns his dominant mount position into an even more dominant back-mount, and Zhang spends the rest of the round behind the Eightball, struggling to avoid a rear naked choke. Somewhere on the mainland, troops are surrounding Zhang’s village.

Round 3: Tuck inexplicably wants to stand with Zhang, and as the ancient Chinese saying goes, “Standing and trading with a desperate man is a fools errand.” Zhang spends the next few minutes chasing him down and feeding him knuckles like they come free with the meal. Tuck lands with his jab a few times, and manages a knee strike here and there, but Zhang dings him up. Time runs out with Tuck trying to roll into a Hail Mary kneebar.

John Tuck def. Tiequan Zhang via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28)

Next: Takanori Gomi vs. Mac Danzig

Gomi vs. Danzig pits a former PRIDE superstar who sucked hard when he came to the Octagon against a TUF winner who sucked hard when he came to the Octagon post-TUF. Are you not intrigued?

Round 1: No surprises here as Danzig starts off circling and trying to avoid Gomi’s fistic power. The TUF winner grows more confident, and about two minutes in he grabs a Thai clinch and delivers some knees. Gomi responds with a takedown, and in about thirty seconds Danzig has worked back to his feet. Gomi begins mixing in some hard leg-kicks to add flavor to his offense, and with about twenty seconds left in the round Danzig hits a takedown and drops some leather.

Round 2: They continue picking and choosing their strikes in the third, with Danzig clinching and delivering knees and Gomi knocking his head back whenever the American’s defenses lapse. With a minute and a half left, Danzig gets the takedown, and when Gomi scrambles to get up his exposed neck is like a juicy Vegan meal that Danzig pounces on. For the rest of the round Gomi is stuck defending an arm-in guillotine.

Round 3: Gomi opens up the third round with a sweet right hand that puts Danzig on his butt. The PRIDE legend settles in on top, and alternates between feeding him punches and pulling Danzig back down whenever he tries to escape. But the TUF winner still has some tricks up his sleeve, and he threatens with a heelhook and a straight kneebar. Gomi defends, and Danzig works back to his feet. Gomi flubs a takedown and eats a few punches for his folly. They take turns blasting each other, and when Danzig lands a clean one, Gomi beckons him to give him more. When time runs out they’re swinging – they’re tired, but they’re swinging.

Takanori Gomi def. Mac Danzig via Split Decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

Next: Dong Hyun Kim vs. Paulo Thiago

It’s South Korea vs. Brazil in this match-up, with Kim bringing judo, solid positional grappling and a ribcage that could give out at any minute, and Thiago bringings submissions, KO power, and the threat that the BOPA police force will kick down your door and shoot you at any time.

Round 1: Kim goes for a single-leg takedown almost immediately, and though Thiago manages to avoid it for about thirty seconds, he eventually succumbs to gravity. Acting as if the Brazilian’s jiu-jitsu background means nothing, Kim wastes no time getting on top then taking back-control. For the rest of the round, Thiago is pretty much his bitch, struggling to avoid the rear naked choke with Kim on him like a backpack. The round ends with “the Stun Gun” almost getting the submission.

Round 2: Thiago comes out in the second round trying “shoo!” his foe away with high-kicks, but then Kim gets his hands on him and judo’s him silly. Thiago goes down, yet manages to mitigate his plight with a kimura attempt that forces Kim to think. Soon Kim’s arm is free, and for the next couple minutes the South Korean has the Brazilian pressed into a ball against the fence. Thiago escapes with a minute left, and in the final seconds of the frame Kim is again going for a tight submission – this one a D’Arce choke.

Round 3: Kim waits about a minute and a half before latching onto Thiago, and once again Thiago has got nothing on the South Korean’s judo skills. Firmly glued to his opponent’s back, Kim spends the rest of the round making Thiago miserable, both with positional control and ground and pound – and, with only a few seconds left in the fight, a bunch of Captain Kirk double-punches from mount. Decision time again, and this one is a no-brainer.

Dong Hyun Kim def. Paulo Thiago via Unanimous Decision (30-26, 30-27, 30-27)

Next: Thiago Silva vs. Stanislav Nedkov

Time for the light-heavyweights, and it’s Silva vs. Nedkov. Seriously, how the hell does Silva still have a job? The dude loses like it’s his specialty, and his most impressive recent win (against Brandon Vera) was rendered a “no contest” when he pissed hot for juice. Nedkov, send this guy packing, will you?

Round 1: The undefeated Bulgarian wrestles Silva to the fence and seems to want to push him through it like a hunk of cheddar through a cheese grater. They flurry wildly about a minute and a half in, and when Silva gets some space, he nearly buckles Nedkov’s leg with a kick – a reminder to Nedkov to keep up the cheese grater tactic. Silva manages a Thai clinch and feeds his opponent a knee, and Nedkov answers back with another flurry of fists. Once more they’re against the fence, and it becomes all too clear that Nedkov’s spirit animal is the fearless (and possibly mindless) ox.

Round 2: The Brazilian opens the round by kicking the Bulgarian in the junk. After a brief recovery period, they resume trying to impose their respective game plans, with Nedkov’s hugging efforts eliciting a ton of boos from the crowd. If anyone seems to be taking the lead on the scorecards, it’s probably Silva, who manages to nail Nedkov from the outside, but with about twenty seconds left in the round Nedkov clips Silva with an overhand right that sends the Brazilian to the ground. Silva survives to the bell.

Round 3: Silva comes out on fire, lighting Nedkov up like the Bulgarian is made of kindling, and about a minute in he shoots for the takedown, works to mount, slips on the arm-triangle choke, and gets the tap. Good win for Silva, who was dangling on the precipice only minutes before.

Thiago Silva def. Stanislav Nedkov via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 1:45, Round 3

Next: Rich Franklin vs. Cung Le

Former UFC champ Franklin and former Strikeforce champ Le will never see the vista from the top of the mountain again, but they’re still popular, and usually very capable of throwing down, so here we are with a main event featuring two guys with more name than upside. Regardless, it should be fun.

Round 1: In an exercise in the striking tenets of range and angles, Franklin and Le start off their bout flitting in and out, firing off kicks and punches, and stepping away and just out of range. And then… then comes Franklin’s kick and Le’s picture-perfect counter, which is a right hand that hits Franklin squarely on the button and puts him instantly to sleep. The former UFC champ collapses in a heap and is out, and Le is awarded the knockout victory at 2:17 of the first round while the crowd goes wild.

Cung Le def. Rich Franklin via KO (Punch) at 2:17, Round 1

Afterwards, Le thanks Franklin, the UFC, White and the Fertittas for the opportunity. He also labels his finish as a “lucky punch” – “Thank you, Lord,” he says.

And that’s all she wrote.

UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar — Live Results and Commentary

(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The matchup between UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight non-champion Stephan Bonnar has been called everything from a “fun fight,” to a mother’s worst nightmare. Tonight at the HSBC Center in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, we’re going to find out what this weird freak show will actually look like. Our only prediction is that Griffin Bonnar‘s first image of his father will be a bruised and lumpy one.

Luckily, there are plenty of far-more-legitimate matches on the UFC 153 main card, including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Dave Herman, Erick Silva vs. Jon Fitch, and Glover Teixiera vs. Fabio Maldonado. And as with previous shows in Brazil, the local fans will make sure that the show is just as entertaining outside of the cage.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 153 pay-per-view broadcast will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and be sure to tell us how you feel in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by.

(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

Sup, potato heads. Here we are for the third installment of Brazil vs. The World, and let’s be candid here, in MMA there are really only two countries that matter: Brazil and America, so “The World” is pretty much us. In the first two (UFC’s 134 and 142), Brazil not only came out victorious, but basically just bent us over and with utter malice, forcibly slid their uncut national schwanz in and out to the tune of 14 wins to only two defeats.

Brazil is a huge market for the UFC (e.g., they drew over 16,000 live for Wanderlei Silva vs Rich Franklin II, which was a suck ass card yet more than the 15,000 Vegas drew for Silva vs Sonnen II) and some of the unlubricated violation that took place at UFC’s 134 and 142 can be attributed to favorable match-making, but let that not diminish the fact that these dudes can whoop some ass, and this event seems poised to produce much the same result.

Yes, for years the Brazilians have been plotting an overthrow of America’s dominance over the sport. Currently they hold three of the UFC belts to America’s four (still considering GSP the true welterweight champion). Don’t think this shit don’t matter either. We’re talking about two of the world’s most fiercely nationalistic countries here.

We Americans like to think we’re the best at everything, even though all evidence points to a slow, steady decline that will likely produce long bread-lines and painful humility. Yet still, at the weigh-ins there were actually a few brave, yet suicidal fans in the arena doing the “USA, USA, USA” thing.

Brazil is an emerging country whose international flex is finally starting to catch up to its bloated self-image. And just about every Brazilian fighter comes into the cage wrapped in a green flag looking like the life sucking tree creatures from the Beast Master. It’s a largely unspoken rivalry, but I can assure you it matters to just about every participant on this card.

So, there’s more at stake here than simply wins and losses. There’s the conglomeration of future world dominion. With the traitorous assistance of Sensei Seagal, the Brazilians are a pubis hair away from forcing us to pronounce our R’s as H’s, and that’s when the shit is all over. Oh yeah, and you thought you were just watching some fuckin’ MMA tonight.

Speaking of, let’s get this started with the undercard action:

Chris Camozzi beat Luiz Cane by decision, 29-28 across the board. And we were informed after all this time that Cane is actually pronounced CAHNAY, not just Cane, so get that shit right. Regardless, after two losses in front of his countrymen, Cane may be forced into exile.

Cristiano Marcello beat Reza Madadi by split decision.

Sergio Moraes beat Renee Forte by rear naked choke at 3:10 of round three.

Diego Brandao beat Joey Gambino by unanimous decision, 30-27 across the board.

Gleison Tibau remains the most prolific undercard fighter on the UFC roster by beating Francisco Trinaldo by unanimous decision, 29-28 across the board.

Rony Jason beat down Sam Sicilia with hammer fists at 4:16 of round two.

Dana White and Joe Rogan desperately try to convince us that Silva vs Bonnar is a competitive fight so buy that shit.

Goldberg has the whitest bottom teeth ever, and Rogan’s shaved head is finally starting to look natural.

We kick off with Demain Maia vs Rick Story

While we’re on this fight, let’s discuss how awesome Rick Story’s nickname is. Look, not everyone has a name with the flow to come up with an awesome fucking moniker like Rick “Horror” Story, or Jason “Dooms” Day, but it should be noted that having a nickname just for the sake of having a nickname is retarded. It needs to be a good one. Not mentioning any names, ahem J-Lau, Magician, Filipino Wrecking Machine, et al.

That being said, a cool nickname isn’t going to help with Maia, who is gonna be tough to deal with at 170.

Buffer’s suave ass kicks some Portuguese.

Round 1: Story opens with a left hook. Maia has a leg, takes Story down. Uh oh. Story getting up, Maia trips him down again. Maia working to side control, Story back up. Maia takes his ass down again, and is mounted. Now he’s going for his back. He’s got it. Jesus this dude can grapple. And there it is, Maia is crushing Story’s face with a choke, gets the tap, and God that looked like it sucked!

Demian Maia wins via first round submission by rear naked choke that was actually a neck crank, but whatever it was, it was damn painful looking.

Next up is Phil Davis vs Wagner Prado

Prado rolls up dancing his ass off. A member of his team was smacking him to fire him up, but they were weak. If you’re gonna do that you gotta go all Jason Guida, who slaps the ever loving shit out of his brother, Clay.

Davis rolls up looking like an action figure…with pink ass shorts…young as hell too.

This one is a do-over from August when Davis poked Prado in the eye so bad he couldn’t continue.

Round 1: Prado is mugging, man this dude is a lunatic. Feeling each other out. Prado misses a high kick. Davis tries tying Prado up, he wiggles out. Left high kick by Prado, blocked. Davis ducks a punch and gets a takedown. Prado trying to cage walk up, Davis dragging him back down. Prado keeps grabbing the fence. Prado is back up, but Davis slams him down hard. He’s delivering a little ground and pound here. Prado back up, and back down. Davis lands a huge bomb, then one right to the back of the head. Now he’s just pounding Prado. Damn, every time Prado gets up, Davis takes him down. Prado ends the round on the ground looking demoralized. Davis 10-9.

Round 2: Front kick by Davis. Prado with a straight left. Davis high kick misses by a mile. Flying knee by Davis, uses it to tie Prado up, and yep, takes his ass down again. Landing some nice body shots. Prado up, but Davis has him pressed up against the cage. Davis delivers a few Charlie horse shots, and they separate. Left kick by Prado, blocked. Davis shoots again, and he’s got him. Even Davis’ telegraphed shots are working. Davis with some elbows. He goes for mount, ends up in half guard. Davis with an arm triangle. Prado shows he can grapple at least a little and escapes. Wait, spoke too soon. Davis then secures an anaconda choke and gets the tap! Nice.

That was about as dominating a grappling clinic as we’ve seen in the UFC.

Phil Davis wins via anaconda choke in the second round.

Next up is Jon Fitch vs Erick Silva, and this shit would get ugly.

You gotta to feel for Jon Fitch, man. Eternally branded a boring fighter, Fitch gets very little love. He used to at least get some respect as the #2 welterweight in the world, but now people mostly just want him to go away. And what does the UFC do to him after getting dick-nailed by Johny Hendricks? They feed him to Erick Silva.

Silva (no relation to Anderson – Silva is Brazil’s Patel) is just a different breed. He’s an animal. They found this guy in a cave, practicing jiu jitsu with wild animals. Everyone is swinging from the Rory McDonald nutbag. And he a’ight. But I’m swinging from Erick Silva’s bulbous jungle vine. This guy is the future champion. After this fight, getting ‘Fitch’d’ is going to be a household term, one carrying the same loathsome connotation as getting ‘Munson’d.’

Ugh, nasty cauliflower ear on Silva, looks like a pork dumpling from Chan’s Wok.

Fitch has his game face on. Rollin’ out to some country western shit, the fans don’t seem impressed.

Round 1: Fitch opens with a leg kick. Silva lands a knee to the body, Fitch takes him down, going for Silva’s back. Fitch has a hook in, riding Silva’s back. Fitch delivering some nice shots to the side of Silva’s head. Still riding Silva’s back. Fitch going for a standing arm triangle. Silva escapes. Front kick lands to Fitch’s face. Huge shot by Silva to the grill. Fitch chases Silva down, they’re tied up against the cage. Fitch lands a nice elbow off the break. Silva with a couple knees, Fitch going for a takedown, lands it. Silva gets up, Fitch on his back again. Fitch ends the round on Silva’s back landing shots. Fitch 10-9.

Round 2: Silva misses a huge left. Fitch with an uppercut. Silva with a sweep, nice. Now he’s on Fitch’s back. He’s going for a crucifix, but Fitch reverses. Silva on Fitch’s back now, throwing huge shots. Fitch escapes. ilva delivers a knee. Fitch with a punch followed by a knee. He’s got Silva clinched against the cage. Going for a takedown, Silva lands a nasty elbow. Fitch misses a throw, Silva takes him down, takes his back. Silva working for a rear naked. Fitch defending very well. That looked like it was in the bag. Fitch reverses and is in Silva’s guard delivering some nasty. Fitch takes his back now. Great round! Fitch with an armbar, Silva manages to survive. WOW! Fitch 10-9.

Round 3: Fitch is fired up, son. Even throws a side kick. Fitch ties him up. Silva looks absolutely exhausted. Fitch is pounding his head. Going for another choke. Now he’s just hammering him again. Silva gets free, and drops for a guillotine, but he’s just too tired. Fitch is out, and now dropping elbows. He’s beating the shit out of Silva here. Fitch going for a choke, but doesn’t have the position. Fitch is pounding away now. Silva is flattened out and Fitch is issuing an ass whoopin’. Now he’s mounted, and the ref is warning Silva to fight back. Fitch is dropping more elbows, and punches, and just all sorts of hurt. Silva survives to the bell, but that was a dominant win.

Perhaps I jumped the gun on Erick Silva. Jesus he got his ass handed to him. Hats off to Fitch man, never seen him fight like that before.

Jon Fitch earns the unanimous decision, 30-27, 29-28, 29-28.

That was the best Jon Fitch I ever saw. If Fitch fought with only half that intensity he’d never have been known as a human blanket.

Next we have Glover Teixeira vs Fabio Maldonado

Glover is carrying some serious rep with him. He’s 18-2 with 16 of those wins coming via some form of violent stoppage. It’s actually difficult for the UFC to find him opponents. The thought is that he doesn’t yet have enough name value to lose to. For Maldonado, on a two fight losing skid, such analytical decision making was not an option.

Damn, Fabio rolls out to the Rocky theme. Do they even know what that is in Brazil?

Round 1: Glover opens with a big left, knocks Fabio down with a shot, delivering some big shots, now has him mounted, pounding away. This is a bad place to find yourself to start off. Glover with some elbows. Fabio tries to hip escape, Glover answers with some humungous shots. HUGE elbows by Glover. Glover going for an arm triangle, mercifully. Glover abandons that and just goes back to fucking him up from mount. Jesus, that rep is well earned. Glover even takes a break to scratch his nose. Fabio gets up, and he is a mess. Glover is just hammering away, but damn he just got rocked by Fabio! Glover takes him down to end it, and that is a 10-8 for him. If Fabio hadn’t rocked Glover at the end, it’d be a 10-2.

Round 2: Glover with an immediate takedown, and God I don’t know if i can watch another round of this horror. Fabio gets up. He throws a couple hooks, blocked, but lands a couple jabs. Fabio with a body shot. Glover lands another takedown. And he’s in full mount. This dude throws some downright vicious elbows. Fabio his escapes to half guard. Glover looks like he may have gassed himself out delivering that beating in the first round. He isn’t throwing much. Just as I say that he lands a few hammer fists. Now some elbows. The ref stands them up. They call in the doc to look at Fabio who is busted up. They resume. Glover clips a right, then a left. And another. And another. Fabio is shaky. 10-9 Glover.

The doctor just ended the fight. Fabio is upset, but that was merciful. Glover is NO JOKE.

Glover Teixeira gets the TKO by doctor stoppage at the end of round two.

The crowd applauds Fabio Maldonado’s heart. Well deserved. He took a vicious beating.

Glover says Fabio is not a human for the beating he took.

Co-main event is next, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs Dave Herman

How can ya not love Big Nog. At the weigh-ins he was like the mayor, holding court, shaking hands, just kinda giving off an aura that said, “You will all God damn wait till I’m good ‘n ready to get on that scale.” It was heart-breaking to see Frank Mir tear his arm apart like that. Nog’s been taken apart and put back together so many times we should just start calling him FrankenNog.

Herman is tough customer, but his reputation far exceeds his accomplishments against top competition thus far. He does, however, have the most symmetrical lower pectoral I’ve ever seen.

Herman walks out to some carefree beach music sporting a towel on his head.

The arena goes dark for Big Nog, who rolls out to a Led Zep remix.

Round 1: Herman with a shin to the body. Nog ties him up and Herman flips him onto his back. Herman dropping shots, and Nog is back up. Nog charges forward and catches him with a right. Herman with a brutal body kick. They’re tied up against the cage. Nog with a few short shots to the head and body. Herman with a knee off the break. Nog lands a big left, Herman responds with a body kick. Leg kick by Nog. Nog ties him up and delivers an uppercut. He’s got Herman against the cage. Herman misses a straight left, Nog answers with a right. Body kick by Herman, and again, and those look like they kinda suck. Nog going for a takedown, and Herman uses the whizzer to avoid. Nog lands a shot to the chops. Herman tries a head kick, blocked. 10-9 Nog.

Round 2: Arianny must smell like heaven. Here we go. Nog charges forward and knocks Herman on his ass. He’s in side control, and let’s see if that jiu jitsu shit actually works. He’s going for an americana, and it looks foul. Herman is free, but Nog is in full mount pounding away. Herman gives up his back, not good. Nog going for an armbar. He lost the position. And they’re up. Herman’s game plan seems to be just standing there with his arm extended and throwing a kick every few minutes. And look at that, Herman hip tosses Nog. Nog was looking for a sweep, Herman lets him up. Nog lands a right to the grill. And another. Nog lands a trip takedown, mounts way too easily. He’s attacking an arm again. He got it. Guess that jiu jitsu shit works after all.

Big Nog gets the submission (armbar) in the second round.

And here we go, the main event is up, Anderson Silva vs Stephan Bonnar

The bad news for Bonnar is that he’s about to get badly fucked up. The good news is that he needn’t even concern himself with winning. He’ll win simply by getting fucked up less than Silva’s previous opponents, especially at 205. It’s kind of like the concept of ‘You aint got to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest.’ All he needs to do is show up and he’s already ahead of Forrest Griffin, and to surpass James Irvin shouldn’t be a stretch for him either.

He’s going head up with the greatest fighting machine the sport has even known. If it weren’t for his bizarre Bieber fetish we wouldn’t even consider Anderson Silva human, but a genetically engineered killer crafted by Skynet. But anyone who can get down to some boy band shit must have human emotion, shame obviously not being one of them though.

Bonnar comes out to some new age nonsense. All I wanna know is why not Iron Maiden? This is the most non-fighting music ever. On a positive note though, I’m quite impressed by Bonnar’s physique transformation over the past couple years. He used to be a little flabby, and very pasty. Now he’s jacked and tanned. Guess it paid off, you seen his wife?

Silva walks out reppin’ the BK, looking focused, rocking the winner’s walk.

Round 1: Bonnar takes center cage, attacking, going for a takedown. Bonnar with a few knees, and some short punches. Silva with a knee to the head, just skims. Bonnar working hard for the takedown. They’re clinched against the cage. Bonnar with an elbow, drops levels, and eats a knee to the sternum for it. Silva with the head clinch, let’s go. Silva and Bonnar trading shots, Silva starting his weird routine. Bonnar on a single leg, Silva free. Bonnar whacks Silva in the face, Silva eats it like it aint no thang. He’s actually letting Bonnar punch him. Silva takes Bonnar down, then knees him, punches him, and just descends on him. Bonnar hit the ground and covered up. And the shit is over. That didn’t take long.

It was a brutal knee to the body that really hurt Bonnar, then he followed up with some shots to the side of the head. So much for a bigger opponent whose never been stopped. Silva is just operating on a different plane.

Anderson Silva scores the first round TKO.

Unreal, man. We all knew this wasn’t a competitive fight, but damn he made that look easy. Silva actually fucks dudes up at 205 worse than at 185. Maybe my ex-girlfriend was right, size doesn’t always matter. Anyways, that’s it for me ya’ll. Thanks for chillin’. Peace out.

‘UFC on FX: Browne vs. Bigfoot’ — Live Results & Commentary

(Travis plans to test Bigfoot’s chin tonight. Unfortunately, Bigfoot’s chin has already been tested by a team of doctors, and nobody can figure out what the hell is wrong with it. / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

Because you can never have enough heavyweight fights on basic cable, the UFC returns to FX this evening for a fun little card at the Target Center in Minneapolis. In the main event, one of the ~~ten~~ seven greatest undefeated fighters in MMA, Travis Browne, looks for his fifth UFC victory against Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva, who has been brutally stopped in his last two appearances. (Just keep repeating to yourself: He beat Fedor. He beat Fedor. He beat Fedor…) Plus: Jay Hieron tries to break his curse against Jake Ellenberger, while John Dodson and Jussier Formiga scrap for a flyweight title shot.

Fresh off his short-notice victory against the UFC 151 pay-per-view, Jim Genia is back again to liveblog tonight’s FX main card. Round-by-round results will be piling up after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and if you’ve heard any good jokes lately, please share them in the comments section.

Preliminary card results:
– Yves Edwards vs. Jeremy Stephens – Bout Scratched Due to Stephens Getting Arrested
– Michael Johnson def. Danny Castillo via KO (Punch) at 1:06, Round 2
– Jacob Volkmann def. Shane Roller via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) at 2:38, Round 1
– Diego Nunes def. Bart Palaszewski via Unanimous Decision
– Darren Uyenoyama def. Phil Harris via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) at 3:38, Round 2
– Marcus LeVesseur def. Carlo Prater via Split Decision
– Mike Pierce def. Aaron Simpson via KO (Punch) at :29, Round 2

Howdy. Jim Genia here. Ready for some UFC on FX nonsensical ramblings?

First up: Justin Edwards vs. Josh Neer

Edwards, who trains under Jorge Gurgel, has appeared in the Octagon three times but has yet to impress. Neer… man, that dude be crazy.

Round 1: Edwards comes out swinging punches and flinging raw aggression like it’s free. Neer counters by ducking his head and angling for a takedown – which plays right into a jumping arm-in guillotine that Edwards does not hesitate to slap on. Neer goes to the canvas and makes some motions like he’s going to defend, but soon he’s asleep, and Edwards has earned himself the sweet technical submission at :45 of Round 1. Okay, Edwards looks impressive now.

Justin Edwards def. Josh Neer via Technical Submission (Guillotine) at :45, Round 1

Up next: John Dodson vs. Jussier Formiga

The good news is that Dodson and Formiga are fighting for number one contender status for the flyweight title. The bad news is… ah, there is no bad news. This fight is going to rock.

Round 1: It took about a minute of dancing and circling before these two gentlemen began stepping in and swinging with bad intentions, with the American aiming crosses to the body and the Brazilian looking for a home for his counter right in the neighborhood of Dodson’s chin. But fast footwork prevented either from really nailing the other, so Formiga shot for a takedown around the three-minute mark that was easily stuffed. Another takedown was stuffed, and another, and the crowd began to boo at the lack of furious engagement.

Round 2: The dancing continued into the second, broken up by intermittent flashes of violence – including a winging overhand by Dodson 45 seconds in, and a lunging right by Formiga two minutes in. Thankfully, three minutes into the round, Dodson caught Formiga with left as the Brazilian was stepping forward, and for a few seconds, Dodson was the predator hunting its prey. Formiga, to his credit, managed to recover, but the end came soon after when the TUF winner blasted him in the gut and then dropped him with a left square in the chops. Formiga fell, rolled over, and was helpless against the subsequent barrage of fists, prompting the referee to jump in. The official time of the TKO was 4:35 of Round 2.

John Dodson def. Jussier Formiga via TKO (Punches) at 4:35, Round 2

Next: Jake Ellenberger vs. Jay Hieron

Once upon a time, Ellenberger and Hieron fought in the IFL and Hieron came away with the decision. But time has presumably changed these men, with Ellenberger establishing himself as a top UFC competitor and Hieron becoming that poor dude who can never seem to get a UFC fight. All that changes now, though!

Round 1: Mindful of Ellenberger’s power and seemingly eager to catch his foe moving forward, Hieron spends the first couple minutes of the round firing off single strikes – jabs, crosses, high-kicks, and even a couple spinning back-kicks. But his patience erodes when a minute and a half is left, and he shoots for a single-leg that Ellenberger hops out of, and he nearly catches him with some hard counters of his own.

Round 2: The round opens with Hieron dinging Ellenberger with a counter, and soon after going for a takedown that is deftly avoided. A sudden change in tactics has Ellenberger nailing a takedown of his own, and for the following minute, he’s able to bang up Hieron and open up a cut near the Xtreme Couture fighter’s eye. Though bloodied, Hieron keeps his wits about him and manages to scramble back to his feet, and for the last two minutes of the period they dance the “I’m Afraid of You, You’re Afraid of Me” Waltz.

Round 3: Their wariness leads to more dancing in the third frame, although the action is halted briefly a minute in when Hieron kicks Ellenberger in the junk. After a restart, Ellenberger goes for a takedown that Hieron squirms out of. Does their mutual respect color how they fight throughout the rest of the bout? Sadly, it does, as Hieron maintains a steady output of single, long-range kicks and punches while Ellenberger waits for that one big opening that never seems to come. Hieron does fall in the final seconds of the fight, but it isn’t clear if it’s a slip or if Ellenberger has actually tagged him, and the bout goes to the judges. The winner? Ellenberger by unanimous decision, but yeah, it’s close.

Jake Ellenberger def. Jay Hieron via Unanimous Decision

Next, the main event: Travis Browne vs. Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva

It’s hard to place where exactly in the heavyweight division Browne and Silva belong, especially since Dana White declared that Stefan Struve’s win over some scrub somehow catapulted the dude to number five in the rankings (uh, what?). Regardless, big men fighting. Hooray!

Round 1: Browne comes out throwing colorful kicks, but Silva informs him with a right hand that he better check himself before he wrecks himself. They exchange more cautiously, and a minute and a half in the Brazilian comes in, eats a knee, but still manages to tie Browne up against the fence. After a few seconds Browne escapes, but it’s suddenly evident that something is wrong with his knee, and after almost a minute of him limping around, Bigfoot steps in with a huge right that drops Browne against the cage. The fists to the side of Browne’s head may or may not have been needed, but they happened anyway, and when referee Herb Dean jumped in, it’s official: Silva has won via TKO. The time of the stoppage was 3:27 of Round 1.

Antonio Silva def. Travis Browne via TKO (Punches) at 3:27, Round 1

Afterwards, an extremely happy Silva thanked the crowd for showing up, and spoke of how much he’d trained for the fight.

And that’s all, folks. Thanks for showing up.